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Red Blood Painted
The pain is too great.
Anger causing me to help it along.
I want to feel it.
I want to feel the pain.
I want to see the blood trickle down.
Down, down to my feet.
I want to see my hair turn red.
I want to see my hands turn red.
I want to see the wall painted.
Paint it with my blood.
For me.
Red blood now gently slides down my arm.
I cut myself once more.
The blood flows down my leg.
My blood curling scream pierces the silent air around me.
Red blood now flows down the wall.
My faint body leaning for support.
The wall.
Red blood painted it.
~ Glenys
Age: 17
09.20.2004
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| Glenys, no more... |
| 03.13.05 (5:33 pm) [edit] |
I have been told a story recently. A friend of mine asked another what names were used for. The other friend told this first that names were "...we used them for identification and sometimes those things really did identify us." The "other friend" is Audi...who's name means "last daughter" which she is for her family. The first friend was once called Ara...who is "of the wind" and now shall be known as Aira. Who am I? Glenys does not really describe me...I am neighter holy nor beautiful...
Audi has given me a new name... one I shall now forever be known as. Arin...meaning "enlightened". When Audi looked up the word enlightened it meant "To give spiritual or intellectual insight to"...it had something to do with something I told her I wanted very badly earlier in that convo... She said it was who I am...and I believe her.
Arin
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| a post for the admirer |
| 03.11.05 (4:30 pm) [edit] |
I am lost for the words I need to comfort you. Lost for the words I know I must say. What do I say? You know what you feel...and what they feel as well. Yet...as I sit and wonder at what to say...another thought floats into my mind.
A car...driving down a road. Notice the wheels...invented so many years ago. Edison once said he had not failed at making a light bulb a thousand times. He had learned a thousand ways not to make a light bulb. What about that wheel? How many times did it take before the wheel as we know it was formed? Notice the shape...a circle. Never ending... A square would get us no where, as would a rectangle. Then I picture a car with triangular shaped wheels. A triangle gets us no where as well. Three sides...three angles. Three is an amazing number. Three friends walking in the woods... isn't there usually one at any given time that might not be able to put into the conversation? Isn't there always a time when one of those three friends may feel that they are with the people they need be with, yet at the same time feel so so alone? A pair of lovers...and an admirer. Would not one of these precious souls be left to fend for themselves? Would not one of these precious souls be alone in his/her love? A triangle cannot take us down the road we must travel. It is the circle of friends that gets us where we need to be in life.
[i]There are many levels upon which this post may be taken. It is actually meant but for one person. He would know who he is. This is all I can think of saying for now...I love you and wish you well and I hope to always be in your circle of friends. [/i]
.:Glenys:.
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| so long... |
| 03.10.05 (5:08 pm) [edit] |
*sigh* I shouldn't be online right now...I have three essays for mr. easley. He said that instead of giving us a test on [i]Jane Eyre[/i] he was going to give us an essay test. We have to choose three of six essay questions and write no more than a page and a half. I have only an introductory paragraph - a thesis statement for the first one. I have a headache...and I can't breathe and it's freakin me out. I feel like shit.
I've also found a few songs. The first is by Big & Rich... It's called Holy Water and it reminds me a lot of myself...of my life I guess...
[u][i]Holy Water ~ Big & Rich[/i][/u]
[i]Somewhere there's a stolen halo
I used to watch her wear it well
Everything would shine
Wherever she would go
But lookin' at her now, you'll never tell
Someone ran away with her innocence
A memory she can't get out of her head
And I can only imagine what she's feelin' when she's prayin'
Kneelin' at the edge of her bed
And she says, take me away
Then take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me
Like Holy Water
Holy Water
She wants someone to call her angel
Someone to put the light back in her eyes
She's lookin' through the faces and unfamiliar places
She needs someone to hear her when she cries
And she says, take me away
Then take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me
Like Holy Water
Holy Water
Like Holy Water
She just needs a little help
To wash away the pain she's felt
She wants to feel the healin' hands of someone who understands
And she says, take me away
Then take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me
Like Holy Water
Holy Water
And she says, take me away
Then take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me
Like Holy Water
Holy Water
Like holy water
Like holy water
Like holy water
Like holy water[/i]
[LINE]
This next song is by Montgomery Gentry...it's called Gone. It reminds me of...ha!...me!...as soon as I can get out of this place!
[u][i]Gone ~ Montgomery Gentry[/i][/u]
[i]This ain't no temporary, typical, tearful goodbye
Uh uh uh
This ain't no breakin' up, then wakin' up and makin' up one more time
Uh uh uh
This is gone, gone, gone, gone
Gone like a freight train
Gone like yesterday
Gone like a soldier in the Civil War
Bang Bang!
Gone like a '59 Cadillac
Like all the good things, that ain't never comin' back
She's gone, gone, gone, gone
She's gone!
This ain't no 'give it time, I'm hurtin' but maybe we can work it out'
Uh uh uh
Won't be no champagne, red rose, romance, second chance
Uh uh uh
This is gone, gone, gone, gone
Gone like a freight train
Gone like yesterday
Gone like a soldier in the Civil War
Bang Bang!
Gone like a '59 Cadillac
Like all the good things, that ain't never comin' back
She's gone, gone, gone, gone
She's gone!
This is gone, gone, gone, gone
Gone like a freight train
Gone like yesterday
Gone like a soldier in the Civil War
Bang Bang!
Gone like a '59 Cadillac
Like all the good things, that ain't never comin' back
She's gone, gone, gone, gone
She's gone!
She's gone!
Gone like a freight train
Gone like yesterday
Gone like a soldier in the Civil War
Bang Bang!
Gone like a '59 Cadillac
Like all the good things, that ain't never comin' back
She's gone
Long gone, done me wrong, never comin' back, my baby's gone
She's gone
Lonely at home, sittin' alone, so pack your bags, and now she's gone
Never comin' back, she's gone
No, no, never[/i]
[LINE]
This next song, by Gretchen Wilson, is called When I Think About Cheatin'... The way she sings it reminds me of Patsy Cline. There's actually a story behind the video for the song that I shall tell after the song.
[u][i]When I Think About Cheatin' ~ Gretchen Wilson[/i][/u]
[i]I've never done anything
That would ever bring a tear to your eye
I've never crossed the line
Or needed an alibi to cover up a lie
But darling I'll admit
There've been times when I could have
The thing that kept me strong
Is the one thing that is always on my mind
When I think about cheatin'
I just think about you leavin'
And how my world would fall to pieces
If I tossed your love away
Even when I'm tempted by some stranger
Oh there's never any danger
I just think about you leavin'
When I think about cheatin'
There was a time in Abilene
When he said all the things I wanted to hear
It was hard to turn him down
Between the champagne and the sound of whispers in my ear
But it just took one two-step with someone, and I was missing you
He never had a chance, cause I broke up the dance
Before the song was through
When I think about cheatin'
I just think about you leavin'
And how my world would fall to pieces
If I tossed your love away
Even when I'm tempted by some stranger
Oh there's never any danger
I just think about you leavin'
When I think about cheatin'[/i]
Ok...the story behind the video...they're (Gretchen and her friends from Big & Rich) are walking past Ryman Auditorium in Nashville and one of the guys from Big & Rich (I forget his name) goes up to the door and pulls on the handle... This is in the middle of the night so it's supposed to be locked of course...but it's not...it opens just as he says, "I used to try to open the door every time I'd walk by here. I always knew that one day it would open *door opens* for me." So they go inside and it's completely empty... The only thing that's on the stage is an old acoustic guitar on its stand. The guy goes up and hits whatever the first chord in Patsy Cline's "I'm so Lonesome I Could Cry" and Gretchen starts singing the song. A security guard finaly caught them, but he let her finish the song cuz it was damn good. This is a true story...in the video they do all the same things only instead of I'm so Lonesome I Could Cry she sings When I Think About Cheatin'...oh...and the security guard isn't in the video... Awesome video/song...I advice you all to go to launch or where ever else you go to watch video's online and watch it! Anywho...I am going to watch it now myself and try to get Joseph to leave me alone...cya!...
.:Glenys:.
P.S. Are you happy now, Ara?! I've posted!
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| stolen from audi |
| 03.01.05 (5:26 pm) [edit] |
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Have you ever thought about asking me out or going out with me?
13. Physically, what stands out?
14. Emotionally, what stands out?
15. Do you wish I was cooler?
16. On a scale of 1-10, how "hot" am I?
17. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
18. Am I loveable?
19. How long have you known me?
20. Describe me in one word and why?
21. What was your first impression?
22. Do you still think that way about me now?
23. What do you think my weakness is?
24. Do you think I'll get married?
25. What makes me happy?
26. What makes me sad?
27. What reminds you of me?
28. If you could give me anything what would it be?
29. How well do you know me?
30. When's the last time you saw me?
31. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
32. Do you think I could kill someone?
33. What is your favorite thing about me?
34. Are you going to put this on your Journal and see what I say about you?
.:Glenys:.
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The Girl That Wasn't
There once was a girl...
That was there...
Then wasn't.
She would blink in and out...
Disappearing and reappearing...
Gradually she wasn't there more than she was...
Gradually she wasn't there at all...
Eventually she was forgotten...
~Audi
The Strangling
When the nighttime shaddows call...
When the summer breeze flows through your hair...
When the forest your name does whisper...
That is when you know...
...of a different kind you are.
Strong willed and true...
This kind so strange to the human race...
Feeling apart, alone, abstract.
Strangling being the only name to give...
...it is strangling, then you may know me as.
~Glenys
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